The Observing part
Lets explore the part of our own being which dances its way trough the interactive brain systems
And the Observing part of our personality
We are all able to observe or examine our own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself we call ‘introspection’.
The observing part we call the part which carries this ability of ‘introspection’. So you could say it’s normal to have an observing part. An observing part is not a traumatized Emotional Personality part or state, because than it wouldn’t be able to observe or examine our own mental and emotional inner self.
Introspection is a normal human capacity.
But what happens to this part of our personality if we become traumatized?
Then we don’t lose the ability of introspection but a traumatized personality doesn’t like to go on a exploring introspective adventure, so the main personality shuts down or ignores the introspective personality part – the ANP gets phobic to explore the inner self. Yet this observing part of our personality plays a very big role during therapy and the recovery process after trauma. It’s the communication line between our ANP and EP parts. If the apparently normal personality isn’t able to reboot the observing part after Trauma, or worse – never learnt to use this part proper – than this will slow down the recovery process. To recover from trauma we need to regain trust in our own capacity of ‘introspection’ – our own main observing part.
What if we suffer a tertiary dissociation of the personality,
also related to DID
If we suffer a tertiary dissociation of the personality than we also get acquainted with more than one ‘apparently normal personality’ state. And there it is also possible that every ANP has created their own misleading observing part which tells the ANP that it’s not their own emotion, or this memory didn’t really happen to us.
Those misleading observers are called OEP’s, the observers of the EP’s. Sometimes also called the inner gatekeepers. Their function is; helping out the ANP to ignore the nasty EP’s and reject the other ANP as being also parts of the own personality. And although those observers are very misleading, it’s also very important to gain there trust during the recovery process and ask for their help during therapeutically sessions. Because they also can tell a lot about the EP’s and they can be very functional as communicators of the inner self.
Now the question could be:
What happened to the main observing personality part if you suffer a tertiary structural dissociation of the personality?
It’s in there somewhere. It’s a part of our main personality so it can’t be gone. And within a tertiary SD, one of the ANP’s is very often able to communicate with the other ANP(’s). And mostly this ANP holds also the main observing personality part. Very frequently this is also the most numb ANP because there the observing personality part survives and function at its best.
A personal note to the understanding of the ANP parts
Not so long ago I got confused by the distorted information which is spread on the internet about the theory of the structural dissociation of the personality. So I asked my Clinical psychologist and therapist (traumatology) at the Dutch Top referent trauma center Assen-Drenthe:
“How many ANP’s can a person own which developed and suffers a tertiary structural dissociation?”
And he answered to me:
“In all those years that I treat, teach and contribute to the research of traumatology and also contributed in the writings of the book The Haunted Self, I personally have never met or heard of someone having more than three main ANP’s.
The more I understand, the more I start to recognize and feel
although I still not understand why I feel scarred of a task such as ‘body hygiene or body care’.
I can’t feel my own body as my own body on those moments and the world around me seems very small,
very close and nearby but also locked away in a very thick Fog.
I don’t see sharp and I’m still not able to think clear on those moments.
I function mechanic on those moments and do what has to be done.
It doesn’t feel as me taking care of me, but it is me ANP ‘Nique’
If we need to survive, the mind is stronger than our soul.
Maybe I have lost contact with my own inner soul, who knows.
But I will beat this monster inside me