Tag Archive: Onno van der Hart

The diagnostical reality of a SD-DID sufferer

Are all DID diagnoses a tertiary structural dissociation?

  • SD * Structural dissociation
  • MPD * Multiple Personality Disorder
  • DID * Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • BPD * Borderline Personality Disorder

Are all MPD/DID diagnoses the same as a tertiary structural dissociation of the personality ?

A very complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Dissociation
  • Technically and to SD diagnostically instruments: YES
  • Reality to the present time of a global diagnostically acceptance and understanding of the SD: NO

Because until now the three levels of a Trauma related Structural Dissociation of the personality are not globally recognized or used as a diagnostically instrument to diagnose a (Complex) PTSD and a Trauma related dissociation.Three levels: primary, secondary and tertiary.

  1. PSD – a PTSD a primary Structural dissociation of the personality
  2. SSD – a Complex Trauma related Dissociative Disorder, in combination with a attachment or severe personality disorder, a secondary SD
  3. TSD – a Complex Trauma with severe dissociative symptoms a tertiary SD

Until this moment level 2 and 3 are a diagnostically mess. Because there is still no suitable diagnostically DSM category to define a Complex Trauma (CPTSD) with severe dissociative symptoms.

Result: Level 2 and 3 of the SD are totally mixed up as a Dissociative Identity Disorder.

To this matter I want to share a personal note:
Last February I had a nice and also educative conversation with Professor Ph.D. Onno van der Hart. During this conversation we also spoke about the frequency DID is diagnosed. And that to my opinion to many people get diagnosed with a DID while they suffer more likely a level 2 of the Structural dissociation of the personality. And to this personal observation and conclusion I asked him some feedback and he answered to me:

Dutch respons:
” Nique ik ben het met je eens dat mensen veel te snel ook van DID (of Dis) spreken als er in feite van secundaire dissociatie van de persoonlijkheid sprake is–terwijl dat waarcshijnlijk ook vaker voorkomt dan tertiaire dissociatie van de persoonlijkheid. Kortom, ik ben mij er zeer van bewust dat de dissociatieve stoornissen (DD) méér omvatten dan alleen DIS, en dat dit vaak onvoldoende wordt aangegeven. Ik ben bang dat het spreken in termen van niveaus–primaire, secundaire en tertiaire–van dissociatie van de persoonlijkheid, zoals wij dat doen, niet gangbaar is. Want dan moet men ook onze theorie accepteren, en niet iederene kent hem of wil in die termen gaan denken.“. (Onno van der Hart, February 2014)

Prof. Ph.D. Onno vd HartWhich means (Eng translation): 

“Nique, I agree with you that people much too quickly speak of a DID when in fact they talk about a secondary dissociation of the personality — as it shows that though is more common than tertiary dissociation of personality. In short, I am very aware that the dissociative disorders (DD) include more than just DID, and that this often insufficiently is indicated.
I’m afraid that speaking in terms of primary, secondary and tertiary levels — of a structural dissociation of the personality, as we do, not generally is accepted. Because then one must also accept our theory, and not everybody knows him or want to start thinking in those terms.“. (Prof. Ph.D. Onno van der Hart, February 2014)

To me this also explains the difficulty to find fellow sufferers and good informative websites about SD.
I’m diagnosed with a diagnose where all sorts of mentally disorders are mixed up with each other, because globally and diagnostically there is no diagnostically system to define a Complex Trauma related disorder. And also there is a severely lacking of understanding to the theory of a Structural Dissociation such as given by The Haunted Self a (study book). So people like me, who suffer a complex Trauma with severe dissociative symptoms but also free of a personality disorder, we aren’t recognized by a global diagnostically system. I suffer no symptoms of a Borderline or other personality disorder. I suffer a complex Trauma with severe dissociative symptoms (ANP switching) – a Tertiary structural dissociation of the personality.

In may 2014, I also had a shared conversation with my own personal CPT and Ellert who both go in the same Dutch traumatology team and which also diagnosed my case. I spoke to them about the mixed up diagnoses — personality disorders, SD DD and level 3 as a DID, and Ellert answered  (Literal text translation):

Ellert Nijenhuis, Ph.D.


“Sometimes the facts are more strongly than the theory. I mean: about 40% of the current DID
 population meets the criteria of BPD. An even larger group has a personality disorder (approximately 60%). BPS also develops in early childhood, sometimes BPD seems trauma-related, sometimes it seems not. You could also say that BPD is a sign of a certain imbalance of the personality.
Very general: on axis II diagnoses are not made out on the basis of a development, but on the basis of symptoms.
(Ph.D. Ellert Nijenhuis, may 2014)”. 

 

 

 

My personal conclusion
lots of info which you can find on the internet and which is carried out by people who were diagnosed with classical MPD in the past and now declare themselves as diagnosed with DID as a Trauma related tertiary structural dissociation of the personality;
lots of them don’t even understand the theory of a Structural dissociation – – the difference between ANP and EP and realted switching behavior – – and inform you totally wrong. Until now I could not find one website who informs you right about the structural dissociation of the personality such as given by: Kathy Steele, Ellert Nijenhuis and Onno van der Hart.

My words are probably rough to take in and lots of people hate me by it, but a diagnose is also not meant to please but to point out the reality of symptoms, behavior and a the mental disorder(s) someone is suffering.  So again I answer to the question: is all the info on the internet about DID – – related to a Tertiary Structural dissociation of the personality?  NO !
B
ecause to make such a statement we would need to re-diagnose all the MPD/DID sufferers which were diagnose for the 21st century and which aren’t diagnosed by the diagnostically instruments and knowledge (interviews and differential D instruments) which define a diagnose of a Trauma related Structural Dissociation of the personality – the three levels.

Knowledge does change and has changed.
But in all those years they never adjusted diagnoses given in the past.


The Internet and all given information that comes with it
is it trustworthy

shutterHow to know if the information you read on Blogs or personal managed websites is trustworthy to the understanding of a Structural dissociation of the personality or a DID related tertiary structural dissociation of the personality (the three levels)?

Most people who are diagnosed during the 21st century by the expertise of a Trauma center and or by a clinical psychologist which is specially trained to work with the instruments to diagnose a structural dissociation of the personality (SD theory), will have no problems to mention where they were diagnosed. Because they have no reason to make a secret of it.

Websites written by people who refuse to mention who diagnosed them and when they were last diagnosed with DID or otherwise, are often also the websites where you will get misinformed about DID and the Structural Dissociation of the personality – SD theory.

 

Also websites where you find information which is most indicated to the (EP not in though with the present time) switching and alternation behaviors are not the websites where you get objectively informed about a structural dissociation. There focus is too much orientated on the acceptance of unrealistic Switching behavior which isn’t a realistic match to how someone suffers a Tertiary Structural Dissociation of the personality.

That sort of websites do carrie out a stigmatizing profile of a classical MPD/DID diagnose which are more damaging than educative to the understanding of a Trauma related Structural Dissociation of the personality.

If someone pretends to share educative information about a disorder as DID then they will also have no problems with you asking ‘when and by whom were you diagnosed?’ If you talk about knowledge and you write a whole website to give meaning to a diagnose in order to help out a global understanding of a ‘diagnose’, then the diagnose and who diagnosed him/her has to be also no secret! If they send you away with an answer ‘you are out of line with that question because that is private’ or ‘It doesn’t matter which diagnose I carry’ than you have the wrong website to inform yourself about a Structural Dissociation of the Personality.

Also keep in mind: A big and over active website does not always mean ‘trustworthy information’.

Love and understanding to you all

attentiona note of attention:

To all the professional mental caretakers and psychotherapists out there
please inform yourself on a professional way about the trauma related structural dissociation of the personality such as given by Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart and Ellert Nijenhuis.

And to all readers pleas note
In order to correctly understand the explanation of my own personality systems, you need some knowledge of the summary of a SD. Be ware: Switching between personality parts is not a phenomenon that only belongs to a trauma related Structural Dissociation (SD) – such as a very complex PTSD the dissociative identity disorder (DID) – or a complex PTSD Secondary SD (OSDD) – or a less complex Post traumatic stress disorder PTSD.

There are other disorders that have symptoms of identity problems and switching behavior between personality states such as a theatrical personality disorder, a Borderline Personality disorder, a bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. A Dissociative Disorder (DD) has a wider range of being a co-morbidity disorder. And also the tertiary SD, DID, the trauma related Dissociative Identity disorder is a polysymptomatic condition which is characterized by a hidden presentation (S.Boon & N. Draijer).
So keep in mind: Diagnoses of a ‘trauma related’ structural dissociation of the personality can only be done by an experienced clinical trauma psychologist/psychotherapist which is specially taint to do so. 

*  *  *  *  *

 

Complex Trauma PTSD

Complex-trauma

Structural Dissociation and amnesia

attention
But first a note of attention:


To all the professional mental caretakers and psychotherapists out there

please inform yourself on a professional way about the trauma related structural dissociation of the personality such as given by Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart and Ellert Nijenhuis.

And to all readers pleas note
In order to correctly understand the explanation of my own personality systems, you need some knowledge of the summary of a SD. Be ware: Switching between personality parts is not a phenomenon that only belongs to a trauma related Structural Dissociation (SD) – such as a very complex PTSD the dissociative identity disorder (DID) – or a complex PTSD Secondary SD (OSDD) – or a less complex Post traumatic stress disorder PTSD.

There are other disorders that have symptoms of identity problems and switching behavior between personality states such as a theatrical personality disorder, a Borderline Personality disorder, a bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. A Dissociative Disorder (DD) has a wider range of being a co-morbidity disorder. And also the tertiary SD, DID, the trauma related Dissociative Identity disorder is a polysymptomatic condition which is characterized by a hidden presentation (S.Boon & N. Draijer).
So keep in mind: Diagnoses of a ‘trauma related’ structural dissociation of the personality can only be done by an experienced clinical trauma psychologist/psychotherapist which is specially taint to do so. 

*  *  *  *  *

Structural Dissociation and amnesia

ptsd vrijFirst notice:

The memory loss is not caused by a physical neurological or a somatic problem.
If caused by psychological Trauma;
The memory loss is often not permanently.

 

How to explain memory loss to a Trauma related Structural Dissociation

  1. PTSD – DD – primary
    partial or full dissociation of the traumatic experience (the ANP is phobic to remember the traumatizing experience)
  2. Complex PTSD – OSDD or DDnos – secondary
    partial or full dissociation of more than one traumatic childhood experience. The ANP suffers big stress under the influence of more than one EP which holds traumatizing experiences of the past or which go in contact with memories of the past (EP’s).
  3. Very Complex PTSD – DID – tertiary 
    partial or full dissociation of more than one traumatic childhood experience
    but also amnesia during and for daily life tasks (not traumatic experiences)

I start again with a very small summary of the three levels of a Trauma related Structural Dissociation of the personality, and the understanding of an Apparently Normal Personality part and an Emotional Personality part which holds a traumatic experience or a part of a traumatic experience.

 

scaredParagraph 1)
Dissociation between ANP & EP (PTSD dd – CPTSD osdd ddnos)

Traumatized experience – a memory (EP) – can be:
partially dissociated
ANP can remember a part of the traumatizing experience
fully dissociated
ANP can’t remember a thing of the traumatizing experience

this can occur within
1. primary SD
2. secondary SD
3. tertiary SD

Note: partially or fully dissociating of an EP, a traumatized memory of the past

 

A note to paragraph 1

Not remembering the past or a traumatizing experience we call ‘dissociating a traumatic event’. The ANP is Phobic for remembering the traumatizing experience. If the EP is triggered and starts to influence the behavior of the ANP, or even takes control of the ANP’s behavior by switching to an emotional personality state, then the ANP loses the ability to comprehend the implementation of a daily requirement or task. The influence of the EP (or more EP’s) on the ANP can cause severe agony in daily life.

This can happen within all three the levels of a trauma related structural dissociation,
primary, secondary and tertiary SD
Because all three levels have an ANP and EP part.

silence


Paragraph 2)

 

Amnesia ANP & ANP   ( tertiary SD – DID)

amnesia of daily life activities which are taken care of by more than one ANP.

example:
On a daily life base losing track of time, or not remembering doing things (tasks) in the present time. Like not knowing what you did this morning or not knowing that you did already take care of the groceries or not remembering that you did go to work this morning etc. the present time tasks (amnesia)
Amnesia caused by switching between more than one ANP.


A note to paragraph 2

This we call a Tertiary SD which is related to a Dissociative identity disorder

Amnesia for daily life tasks or daily life events, caused by more than one ANP which goes in control of taking care of daily life tasks. This only can happen by the tertiary SD, because this is the only Trauma related SD level which has more than one ANP (DID)

An example of amnesia caused by more than one ANP
Let’s take an example of 2 ANP’s

Trauma Fog

One of the tasks of ANP 1 system is:
going to work on a daily base and she/he doesn’t like physical contact

One of the tasks of ANP 2 system is:
taking care of the kids, husband/wife, and she/he has no problems with handling psychical contact.

Both ANP’s leaves aside the EP’s (memories of the past) and together they don’t leave a lot of room to the EP’s to take control of their consciousness mind. On this way they minimize and avoid the influence of EP’s on their daily life. The ANP’s focus purely on surviving daily life tasks and emotions.

If someone, without a warning, touches ANP1 on a physical way, an EP could get triggered. Then a nasty memory comes to close to the consciousness mind of ANP1 and by instinct this ANP will redraw to avoid the EP. Forcing ANP2 to take over the moment of daily life. Normally the ANP’s switch during the day by doing the tasks they each are best in and trainet to take care of, but they also provide protection against the influence of nasty EP’s

The switching moments between the ANP’s can be experienced as coming out of a very thick Fog realizing by an instant of being in the kitchen without remembering how he or she did get there. ANP2 gets confused for a moment and needs to adjust to the situation. But ANP2 can’t remember the nasty feeling which hit ANP1 before the switching moment. And ANP2 also can’t remember what took place on the moment that ANP1 was in control. Now ANP 2 suffers amnesia for the time being of ANP1 was in control, and ignores or avoids thinking about it. Likewise the other way around.
Both ANP’s are focust on thinking, there is only me and I don’t suffer a Trauma or trauma related disorder.
numb

And although the memory is not really gone….

ANP2 suffers amnesia for the time being that ANP1 was in control. They never learnt to communicate and work together and they are dead-scared for their own – but also for each others – memories. They only learnt ‘how to survive pain and nasty traumatizing events and memories’.

So here the EP’s couldn’t take over the consciousness mind of the ANP. Because if the EP’s had succeeded  ANP1 would have experienced the same agony and suffering such as described under paragraph 1 – a switching behavior to an emotional personality state – a personality state that goes under the influence of an EP –  caused by a trigger moment such as a physical touch.

ANP living
Being traumatized is also very often explained as living in a Fog
The ANP does the job that has to be done – as being on an automatic pilot.
A foggy mental state, not fully mentally sharp and or touched by daily life emotions.
Sometimes a very deep fog is needed to keep a distance of traumatized memories (EP’s)

 

 

Complex Trauma PTSD

A clinical glimpse into my own DID personality

Part I & II

(c) Nique
My own therapeutic inside out 

The progress we made during the last therapeutically year 2013 -2014 

 @M  our whole personality state
         which suffers a trauma related tertiary structural dissociation (TSD – DID)

 copyrighted

I will give you all a small glimpse into my own being and functioning

 

Maybe it helps  to make even more understandable a trauma related tertiary SD by sharing the charts we made during the past therapeutically year and the progresses we had made at the end of that year. An achievement that we hadn’t accomplished without the help of our trauma specialized clinical psychologist/psychotherapist at the Dutch Top referent trauma center TRTC Assen –Drenthe.were we have our weekly private sessions.Thank you BMC !

attention
But first a note of attention:


To all the professional mental caretakers and psychotherapists out there

please inform yourself on a professional way about the trauma related structural dissociation of the personality such as given by Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart and Ellert Nijenhuis.

And to all readers pleas note
In order to correctly understand the explanation of my own personality systems, you need some knowledge of the summary of a SD. Be ware: Switching between personality parts is not a phenomenon that only belongs to a trauma related Structural Dissociation (SD) – such as a very complex PTSD the dissociative identity disorder (DID) – or a complex PTSD Secondary SD (OSDD) – or a less complex Post traumatic stress disorder PTSD.

There are other disorders that have symptoms of identity problems and switching behavior between personality states such as a theatrical personality disorder, a Borderline Personality disorder, a bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. A Dissociative Disorder (DD) has a wider range of being a co-morbidity disorder. And also the tertiary SD, DID, the trauma related Dissociative Identity disorder is a polysymptomatic condition which is characterized by a hidden presentation (S.Boon & N. Draijer).
So keep in mind: Diagnoses of a ‘trauma related’ structural dissociation of the personality can only be done by an experienced clinical trauma psychologist/psychotherapist which is specially taint to do so. 

*  *  *  *  *

Part I
a glimpse into my own personality systems
 

In 2006 we started visiting the trauma center and in 2010-2011 we made our first personality chart. 

Chart A
 presents only a comprehensive inventory of our personality at the beginning of a new therapeutically year 2013 – 2014. A year of hard work and weekly educational psychotherapy and therapy. Ad the beginning of that year we already knew a lot about our own being and our traumatized personality.

 huizen01aChart A:  The inventory at the beginning of another therapeutically year 2013 – 2014

 

Our ANP’s and diagnoses


House ANP 1, 2 and 3
presents “Apparently Normal Personality” states which are parts of our whole personality @m. and which presents our daily life emotion and task oriented handling systems.The middle house stands for me ‘Nique’, ANP 2. And on my left and right wing you can see two other ANP-EP’s systems which also carry their own name. I blended their name.

We are known throughout whole our life, surviving by the existence of those 3 daily life emotion and task oriented handling systems which are called ‘Apparently Normal Personality states’ ANP’s.  For this moment I call them the left-, middle and right-wing ANP/EP houses. All three the ANP houses focus purely on everyday life tasks and leave aside the EP’s of their consciousness mind.
The ANP/EP houses carry all three their own name, behavior, knowledge, history (memories of a past), their own way of  thinking and reacting. But above all their own way of handling daily life emotions and tasks. They are the same age and they all three suffer the symptoms and behavior that comes with us also being Autistic. We are born autistic, so @M carries the diagnose High Functioning Autistic with high intelligentsia. We carry a diagnostically note to the autism: Asperger level.
So yeah, it won’t surprise you all that also autistic people can suffer a severe trauma related disorder.

So the whole personality (@M) carries the diagnoses of the Axis I DSM-IV which are in our case:
a trauma related Tertiary Structural Dissociation of the personality which is related to a DID
+ Autism + and we still suffer typical PTSD symptoms. We underwent more than once very extensive diagnostically testing, We had an observation period and a diagnostically trajectory of more than a year where we had again all sorts of clinical interviews. The results; we are free of a Axis II diagnose, or a other disorder such as schizophrenia or a personality disorder.
ANP EP systems

Besides the Big ANP houses which have there own task oriented smaller ANP parts
I include a chart of only the Big ANP’s and the small task oriented ANP’s

  • The BIG houses also store EP’s
    Emotional personality parts with there own traumatic memories of the past.

How much EP’s do we own?
We don’t know and probably we will never know because we don’t want to know and we don’t count them. We work on this moment, in the present time and only with the most nasty parts which prevent us from living – we survive but we don’t live.

The 3 ANP houses such as presented by Chart A, are the big ANP/EP’s every day handling systems. And each handling systems has their own good memories and daily life task ANP’s – smaller ANP’s, but also very nasty memories which are retained by trauma related emotional personality parts (the EP’s). Some of those EP’s are partial dissociated and some EP’s are fully dissociated by an big ANP house. And some EP’s can’t or don’t dare to go in contact with an other EP or ANP which are a part of another ANP/EP system. And in each cellar of the ANP houses life very scared and dark EP’s which don’t like human approach.

  • The smaller houses on the pictures Chart A and C, are also holding EP clusters 

We call them our small ANP ‘garden cottagesand such a cottage stores more then one memory part of a repetitive abuse during childhood which took place over a longer period of time. Each ANP/EP system, the big houses, own some garden cottages. Although we mapped on chart A and C only the garden cottages we were working with on that moment. Those cottage caretakers are also  (smaller) ANP/EP systems which belong to that particularly big ANP/EP house. But I prefer to call them our cottage caretakers which take care of a daily life task and a cluster of EP’s.
Very ofthen they also bin called a host or a alter part (ANP’s). 

On the left wing house, Chart A, we mapped a couple of those little garden cottages (small AN/EP systems).
And each cottage goes under the care of one or more stronger cottage caretaker –   which also has the ability to take care of a daily life task (small ANP) such as my shower and psychical care EP (further-on more about this cottage).

tertiary SD

Chart B

This left picture, Chart B, which I made to explain the development of SD levels

  • the purple EP’s presents the care takers of a cottage (cluster /  whit there own layered EP’s) which store memories of a repetitive abuse during childhood over a longer period of time
  • the orange EP parts are single Emotional Personality parts  (EP’s) which store a part of, or a whole memory of a traumatizing experience of the past
  • the light blue color presents our ANP’s, Apparently normal personality states, which presents the daily life emotion and task systems. Emotional life systems which didn’t integrate during infancy by the cause of very early child abuse and trauma. Those emotional life systems didn’t learn to function proper as team players of a bigger system ‘the personality’.
    Click here if you want to read a definition of the ANP and EP parts


EP clusters
, cottages which belong to that particularly ANP/EP system. 

Sometimes a cottage EP or a couple of EP”s from a particularly ANP/EP system wanders of and tries to disturb, or to influence, a other ANP/EP handling system (Big House). But the house where they don’t belong to, don’t accept or recognize them as an own experience or own memory because the EP’s don’t belong to that other ANP/EP daily life handling system. They didn’t learn that they all are a part of each other and a bigger @M system – the personality.

  • Identity and names:

The 3 big ANP/EP houses are identifiable by the use of their name and by their very recognizable stable and distinctively different behavior. And also by their ability to function autonomic on a daily base (in the present time). We don’t have, don’t need and don’t want to give names to the smaller ANP’s (daily life task oriented) and smaller ANP/EP systems (cottages). So in our case only the big ANP/EP systems, the big houses, carry their own name. The EP’s which are stored by the 3 big houses we eventually recognize by their traumatizing memory / experience they store. I’m Nique, the middle house.
We are aware of those three names as far as we can remember, but then we didn’t recognize them as a part of our own being and a bigger system, the other ‘self @M’.
Those three names and houses are the big survival players of our being, history and daily life.
Our personality

Part II
The progress we made during this therapeutically year

 

Copyrighted NiqueChart C, the progress we made during the past yeas

On Chart C you see even more smaller houses. ANP/EP Cottages:  EP clusters which are going under the care of one or more strong cottage caretaker. Such a cottage caretaker can also partially function autonomic on one daily life task.
For example: none of the three big ANP houses likes to shower, so a cottage caretaker takes care of that daily life task, but such a small ANP/EP cottage system is not able to functioning totally autonomic throughout all daily life emotions and tasks.

In staying by the example of this shower Cottage caretaker, it’s the little yellow one.
This cottage stores traumatic experiences (EP’s) which came with childhood physical pain and abuse during psychical care moments. The EP”s of this cottage holds memories of the past which caused pain, physical pain reflexes, fear, hate to the own body and being, pictured memories, physical memories, etc. which came with psychical care.
Two of the big houses are gone when you mention ‘shower’. In their cellar live dead scared EP’s for showering and hate EP’s to the own body. So they can’t handle the daily life task ‘showering, bathing and or body care’. The cottage caretaker has to handle those daily life task and this cottage belongs to the garden of Nique. So the middle house has to take care of making room for the yellow cottage caretaker in order to handle daily life hygiene and physical care.  And at the same time this cottage caretaker keeps in place all the nasty memories of the past (EP’s which are stored in this cottage). You could think of a archive where all nasty experiences of a repetitive event are stored and where a cottage ANP carries the key to it.

  • Although I can’t explain everything of our progress, I can explain the most important progress

At the end of this therapeutically year (chart C) the middle and the right wing house are connecting with each other. They start recognizing each other’s presence, feelings, emotions, and they already start to integrate some of their own but also some of each other’s EP’s (marked on the chart with a +).

Results and Prognoses:

The daily gapes of not remembering are slowly starting to shrink. But they (the big houses) aren’t yet so much progressed that they can integrate with each other. And maybe the maximum achievable is better teamwork and reducing the PTSD and dissociative symptoms, because there are still a lot of ANP and EP’s which can’t connect or don’t dare to go in contact with other human beings, each other or the outside world. And also, the EP’s which are in rest we don’t want to disturb or bring to life again. If they don’t interfere and mes up our daily life on a frequently base, then we let them rest and we choice not approach them.
We don’t stir in the mud when its better to stay away of it.

ptsd vrijOur goal
Our biggest goal is more inner teamwork, don’t have so much gapes in remembering things, get a knowledge of our own biographical being and history, to get writ of the not explainable and painful defense reflexes, and learn how to handle a more emotional awareness of living without a constant high alert feeling and the need to stay on guard, a high vigilance that comes with a none stop survival mode. We don’t live, but we survive. And learn to handle a more social and human contact.
For the first time in our life we learn carefully to fly as a butterfly from one to another blue rose

We start connecting one ANP house to the other ANP house.

The switching behavior that comes as a symptom of a DID

 

To make this even more understandable . . .

Although this isn’t the case in our situation, in other cases of DID and OSDD (1 big house), cottage caretakers or smaller ANP parts can present itself as a child or a teenager or likewise different Emotional Personality states. But we @M, the left, middle and right wing ANP don’t switch to such a Personality states under the influence of an EP. We switch only between the ANP/EP systems – the Apparently Normal Personality states which protect us against the influence of cottage EP’s or single EP’s. Our big ANP/EP systems are so strong that they usually stay in control as long as possible. And if all three the big ANP/EP systems lower or suffer a lower consciousness state at the same time, and none of them is able to stay in control, then the whole personality system risks a severe panic moment, a mental black-out and in the most severe cases a neurological black-out that presents itself as a serious ‘epileptic seizure’.

 

So our ANP/EP systems don’t like ‘the past at all’ and therefore they don’t leave a lot of room to the EP’s to take controle. So it’s hard for us to explore and integrate the parts which are messing up our live.

Stay in though with your inner self
@Nique  who is coming out of the Dark box

 

Complex Trauma PTSD